Saturday, September 17, 2011

Watch Out Minion-A. I'm Making 'The Purple Haze of Fury.' And I'll Test it on You!

There is nothing like a new direction to put the spring back into one’s step. Thanks to a miscalculation of the Giga-watt flux conduit the Gamma Utility Nanite Sphere or G.U.N.S project has been scrapped. I am not that upset about it, frankly Gamma Utility Nanite Spheres are so over used. Where is the creativity? Where is  the elegance? I have moved on to bigger and better things, such as, The Purple Haze of Fury!  Purple Haze of Fury, tell your friends. 
I was surprised, seeing how much of a huge pain in my back side Super Stud has been the last two weeks, that the Pompous Paladin was no were to be seen when I broke into Foster Labs. I needed to pick up some Paragon Isotope for the Purple Haze of Fury Generator. Once again my only obstacle was Captain Cool.  You would think that the Fosters would rethink their security contract with that fool, seeing how I am in and out of there several times a week and he has only been able to stop me once, three years ago, and I had a cold. Besides who is afraid of a grown man in a tangerine speedo?
I have decided that Cat was right, not that I would ever admit this to her, it would only perpetuate that goodie-goodie nature she is trying so hard to over come, but I have grown complacent with the incompetents of Captain Tool. I am actually impatient to see just how much of a challenge this new comer is.  Defeating minions are one thing, dealing with me face to face is another. 
In other news: It has come to my attention that one of my loyal following is not so loyal after all, but is in fact a double agent.  This is distressing seeing how Minion X is still in jail and the others must pick up the slack. Minion-A as I shall call her is unaware I am on to her deception.  But really I think she has seen one to many movies with all of her sycophant groveling and begging for mercy, “yes my lord” and “ use me my league” “Please show pity on me oh purple one.” “ I’m not worthy”  Like I have ever treated a minion bad. Every villain knows the key to faithful flunkeys is a well rounded total compensation package for all henchman, including medical, dental, and two weeks a year vacation. I am even a strong supporter of the Lackey’s Union. 
I mean I am all for the normal heathy fear and groveling associated with all Super villains and their underlings, but this one takes things to the next level. She actually wet herself when she got my coffee wrong.   Everyone knows a wrong coffee order requires nothing more then a mild beating and three hours  cleaning out the poisson cabinet by tasting and logging the affect of anything unmarked. Nothing worthy of wetting ones self.  At first I thought it was a self confidence issue. Lackeys often suffer from low self-esteem. But while she groveled  to me, I saw an air of self importance, uncharacteristic in a factotum with a inferiority complex, when talking with her fellow flunkeys.
  This made me suspicious. So I had her texts pulled. She may be a double agent but she is not to bright if she thought I could not, or would not check the text messages sent out from the company provided cell phone. Unfortunately the person she was texting is smart enough to have a blocked number and is never referred to by name nor does this person send instructions via text. This could be a problem and it brings up several questions:
1) Who is Minion-A working for? 
2) Is this person a threat?
3) How can I use this to my advantage? 
4) Is it just a coincidence that I discover the deceit of Minion-A the same time Super Stud moves into town? 
For now I think I will let Minion-A feel she is successfully fooling me. Seeing how she has violated the ethical clause in my contract I feel no guilt in throwing her in harms way, or what ever painfully painful tasks I may come across in my quest to rule the world. I think over the next few weeks Minion-A is going to feel the full force of what it means to be a loyal cohort of the Purple nightmare. 

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