Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Can You Give a Villain a Break?!

I had planned to talk to Catastrophic today regarding this distorted impression thing I cannot seem to shake. I wanted to see if she had any ideas on how to counteract it. It’s been some time now and while the effect seems to be dissipating I still see him whenever I close my eyes. His deep greenish-brown soulful eyes with their little flecks of gold just around the edges, that devil-may care way his crooked grin pulls at one’s sole, that longingly sweet smell of him… I can only wish this kind of torture is what I inflict on my rivals.

 Unfortunately we never got that far. As it turns out, her family held an intervention. They even called in her uncle who is on the Justice League, and the whole damn league showed up! Poor girl was surrounded by generations of hero’s including all of her brothers in full costumed glory. That much spandex in one room should be outlawed. Talk about nightmares. 

Apparently her mother kept wailing, “Why can’t you be more like Steve? He’s a real hero!”

 Steve? Really? Steve the sleaze is more like it. I know Steve. I had several run-ins with him in the civilian world while I was working two jobs during the day and pulling whatever heist I could in the evenings trying  to save up for my first hideout.  He used to come in to the restaurant where I worked, he would always send back his order for no reason at all then he would not only stiff me on my tips every time but he would walk out on his bill as well.  Then he would have the nerve to spout these verbal gems like “Hero’s are what hero’s do. Your welcome.” While grabbing my ass.  

Nothing’s worse than a hero with an over inflated moral complex desperately lacking of basic morals.  I mean they think they are better than us villains, but at least we are honest about who we are. We are not pretending to save all humanity while trying to figure out how to bend it in a way that is completely self-serving. We are very open in our desire to bend the world to serve us. And for the most part we are all excellent tippers. I mean Venom is not but he rarely eats out anyways.  Magneto is famous for always paying in cash and letting the waitress keep whatever coins are left as well as leaving a very generous tip. It has something to do with not wanting to carry around the metal… but whatever.

Steve was my first conquest as the persona The Purple Nightmare. I took great pleasure in taking him down. It wasn’t even that hard, he had been drinking while on patrol.  Stellar hero behavior let me tell you! He had the park beat…there are kids in that park. I am not sure he understood why I was throwing change at him and quoting random hyperboles while he begged for my mercy, but I felt much better afterwards.  

 The whole episode was very upsetting for Cat. She was so mad she actually pushed a kid off his bike on her way over. Anger looks good on her. Her thoughts for once were the appropriate shade of dark.  There were a few thoughts of revenge on her brothers that had actual promise. She definitely suffers from acute anger management… not enough anger to manage. If we can somehow tap into her anger towards her family, there just may be hope for her yet.  We are going to work on that together. 

 I decided she was on the verge of an evil brake through, and I did not want to distract her from her ranting.  I’ll talk to her about my problems later. I can suffer through those hellish dreams a few more nights, if it means Cat finally taps in to her dark side.  That’s what friends are for right? 

No comments:

Post a Comment